Siva's laws of physics

Dear Reader,

Have you ever doubted the credibility of Newton's laws of physics or Einstein's? Have you ever questioned whether the Earth is really round? Have you ever tested and found that the Archimedes principle does not hold? These things can never happen for physical laws exist for everyone to accept. They cannot be resisted, challenged or proven wrong.

In life, friendship and relationships too, such laws exist. The only difference being that you deal with human beings and hence you doubt, challenge, resist and try to get around them. Alas, you cannot! I pondered over this and decided to write down my own laws, laws that are akin to the laws of physics. So, here we go...

There are totally 5 laws and an axiom that follows from the five. As you read, think as if you are reading a few laws of physics. Don't bother questioning them. It would be an effort in vain!

Law #1 : At any point in our lives, there is little we can do to choose the people around us. Be it our teachers, bosses, acquaintances or the random stranger we meet every day, they simply exist. Of these men and women, the ones we spend the most part of our waking hours with, determine and influence our emotions. We can run away from some of these people but there is no guarantee that they will not follow us or we shall not meet people of the same ilk again!

Law #2 : In any relationship, be it between mother and son or two lovers or two friends or two relatives, one person may not and cannot be important to the same degree as the other person would like him/her to be or in fact might think him/her is!

Law #3 : The past cannot claim our present unless and until we let it to. The future lies in the future. We have only the present to make the best use of!

Law #4 : The degree of happiness one would like to enjoy is inversely proportional to the size of one's own "I". The more importance one accords himself or herself, the less he/she will get to experience happiness and happiness cannot be pursued. It ensues. Happiness is the only way to a healthy, rewarding and prosperous inner life.

Law #5 : While goodness is man's natural state, badness exists to accentuate the appeal of goodness.

Now that the five laws are laid out, the seemingly tedious but actually simple axiom is :

People appear as the adjectives we attribute to them in our thoughts. If we attribute positive and optimistic attributes to them, they would help bring forth happiness in our lives. Whenever we interact with anybody in our lives, we ought to be aware of the adjective we attribute to him/her. If we find that we are beginning to attribute negative or pessimistic adjectives, we should correct the adjective to a positive/optimistic one. If we practise this like the act of brushing teeth, it will soon become our habit and we'll see a massive change in all the people around us.

Amen!

Do we really know best??

"One can only know one's strengths when one is dead and people get chances to write obituaries", a senior HR manager said in the course of a get together arranged today, addressing all the junior managers working for the Bosch group in India. 

This got me thinking... In life, many a time, we tend to think that, when we decide, we decide best. It is borne out of the desire within each one of us to exercise control over our destinies in some small measure or the other. But, the moot point is, do we really know what is best for us? If yes, why do we think that something that is decided for us by others won't be good in the long term? 

This senior manager also alluded to the Johari Window, seeming to suggest that there is a "blind spot" in all of us. Its only that in some of us, this window is small and the "arena" is large. In this case, there is a concurrence of sorts -We seem to appreciate the decisions of others since we think, we would have taken the same decisions! When the "blind spot" is large, alas, we get deceived by believeing that, since we only know ourselves best, we alone are entitled to chart our future. 


Now comes the larger question of identity! When we ask ourselves who we are, what is the answer that we get. Depending on every individuals Johari mapping, the answer might be slightly different. Most of us would agree however with the fact that what we are is more often nothing but what we are perceived to be. It is from others' perceptions that we infer our own identities. If others perceive me to be a good listener, then I stand vindicated by thinking high of my own listening abilities. Vice versa, there is cognitive dissonance! 

By crediting ourselves with superior abilities of discernment, we hinder our own prospects of being open to accept negative feedback.  So, when somebody else appears even remotely to chart our careers, we instinctively revolt. The first thought is, how can he/she do that? What right does he/she have to do that? It is revolt, resistance and loss of control that we feel. We desire putting our feet down and respond in a stubborn manner. 


Every step that we take in life, can be looked at, from two perspectives. The first perspective is that if we are in a position, where we can exercise control over our steps, instead of just blindly believeing that we know best, it is prudent to consult others (relatives, friends and well wishers) whether they concur with what we think. The other perspective comes in, when we are not in control of these steps. In such a case, it is important to look at the long term - if, in the long term, there is a possibility of things working out to our satisfaction, it is better to suppress the rebel in us and learn to love the direction in which the steps lead us! As they say, one might as well enjoy sitting through a traffic jam if it is eventually going to lead us to our destinations!! The journey might be arduous, but it might well be worth it!!