A sad goodbye and homecoming!

I turn a street corner and this is what I see -

I am in another long broad street with tall tress lining both sides. Cars are parked outside almost every house. It is raining a little. The street is deserted except for one tall girl, her silken smooth hair let loose, running in search of an elusive shelter...such a romantic scene caught my breath for a few seconds before I recovered to realize that I am also getting drenched. 

This scene played out at around 6 PM - bang on twilight time, with no trace of the setting sun and the light rain fashioning its own rhythm that was like a sweet music on the ear. I had got myself a new cycle - Hercules Atom with 18 Shimono gear combinations - a few days back. As I entered the gates to park it carefully, I could not help thanking my stars for finding myself back in the city I had grown to love so much in my last stint of 3 years. 

When I landed in the city in the first week of April, it was like a homecoming of sorts. I could feel the change in me, the spring in my step and a heightened sense of anticipation as to what new adventures, the city would hold for me this time around. When I got a 1 BHK bang in the middle of good old Jayanagar, my joy knew no bounds! The first sunday morning, with Sunday Times in hand, I spent in the quiet environs of a park nearby and it was sheer bliss. The air had a "traditional" unsullied smell to it and the atmosphere, serene.


There are hardly any changes and everything appears as I saw them an year ago, when I was making plans to pack my bags to Chennai. I had only a few wishes then - to stay disciplined during the year, make a few good friends and land a job again in Bangalore. Looking back at the one year experience that Great Lakes offered me, I guess, I shall always remain indebted! 

The last week in Great Lakes was an emotional roller coaster. We tried to do as many things as possible to clutch close to our hearts, as many memories as possible. A few memories that make me teary eyed - 


She was one of my best friends through the year. I came out to say goodbye. I just couldn't hold back my tears."What if I won't see her ever again later? How can she do this - just climb into a cab and move on?" - these were precisely the thoughts I was grappling with! 

The last time, we went to the beach in Mahabalipuram- Another one of my good friends suggested it well into the afternoon when I was hours away from saying goodbye to the campus. My memory blurs as I struggle to recall the conversation we had that evening but the sights, sounds and smells, all of them, I can painfully recall in vivid clarity and detail. On the way back, I heard the words, "I shall be missing you" and since nobody had ever told me that in as many words, I was a little taken aback to react. That was another painful goodbye! 

Earlier in the day, another very good friend packed her bags and left. The very personification of confidence that she is, with a calm sense of assurance, she said that we'll meet soon. I knew we would, for she would be joining work in Chennai, but then...


Another good friend of mine, he made it so easy for me- He asked me to come over to the volleyball court, looked me in the eye and invited me to Hyderabad where he shall be working. Neatly done! 

All these memories tug at my heart every once in a while, sudden in their appearance, always catching me unaware. I guess, time would again prove to be the best healer!

Walk the talk

Oh, how I love walking! I have been told by all and sundry that I am thin and bony and that I shouldn't love walking too much. I always chose to ignore when people tell me that. With an excellent, well planned locality near by (Anupuram township) and the beautiful sunrise and sunset near the coastline to take in, walking acquires a whole new adventurous and enjoyable clout.

Here, in Great Lakes, over the last few months, walking has become almost everyone's routine. I obviously don't walk for the sake of burning excess calories though most people here walk precisely to achieve that. 

There are some simple pleasures in life that one should enjoy when one can, and walking with a like minded person or rather, with somebody who takes an interest in what you talk about and contributes too, is an irresistible proposition to me.

I would always remember, years down the line -

• The manner in which the round orange sun suddenly fell sharply down and disappeared into the west, beyond the gaps between thickly grown trees
• The awesome taste of ginger tea we sometimes had on the way back from one of our walks
• How, the mist slowly cleared on lazy mornings, only to reveal tree leaves with dew drops on them
• The chirping of the birds as they woke up and looked around in all curiosity
• The myriad expressions on my friend's face as we discussed some sundry topic that suddenly interested both of us
• The manner in which conversation easily flowed between us, jumping from one topic to the next, almost akin to a clear flowing stream with nothing hindering its way
• The ease with which we exchanged views, agreeing here, slightly disagreeing there, assimilating here, rejecting there...
• The pervasive innocence of the whole experience that cannot be easily explained - the locality, the quietness, the topics we discussed, the weather all combining to give a poetic touch overall...

 I wish I can go on and on talking about this...such are the simple pleasures of life. They are so simple, that, we rarely bother about them, but their space in our subconscious is so significant that, once we make an effort to recollect/relive them, they make for some of the most vivid remembrances!

What is beauty?

14-03-2011, 10.45 PM, a group of 8 young men and women after a sumptuous dinner at Radisson temple bay, Mahabalipuram, walk to the beach. There is no sound except that of the waves. Pure foamy white in parts and colorless otherwise, like a beautiful slithering animal, the waves ceaselessly and with a certain ferocity, grace the coastline. The sight in the half moon light is breathtakingly beautiful. 

A feast for the eyes - the unending waves ahead and heavenward, clouds billowing, revealing the moon, every now and then.

A constant roar to the ears, at once soothing and a little frightening, as if, a gentle domesticated monster is singing a lullaby.

The smell, taste and feeling, all, a little salty, with the wind carrying the salt from the sea and spraying it all along the shore. 

This is the very definition of beauty. If someone asks me now, I can say, I experienced beauty for a whole 15 minutes, albeit very briefly, but highly intoxicating.

What is beauty?

An exaltation of the spirit when it is in communion with nature...

 

A priceless experience when all the senses are heightened in a sweet anticipation...

An enormous void, just lying beyond a high precipice, falling into which, one experiences nothingness!

A brief period when every thought gets clouded out, when the mind forgets to think and enters a suspended state, just observing, without any judgment!

A poetic interlude when art reaches its zenith before it regains its pitiful ordinariness...

A short time, when happiness reigns supreme and the soul rejoices and dances to an internal rhythm...

Beauty begins to fade the moment, we try to hold on to it, for, precisely, at that very moment, it eludes us. It is not something that can be possessed; rather, it is the one that possesses us. Instead of enjoying and reveling in each of those brief encounters, we commit the mistake of trying to latch on to them. In our eagerness to possess, we dread its loss. We don't want to let it go and hence, enter a cycle that frustrates us. 

Why is it that, we just cannot let beauty be? We want to lord over it, be its master and intend holding its reins...when we develop the capacity to appreciate it without trying to hold on to it, we can experience it in every moment. This, to me, is a huge learning, made possible by one of the most wonderful evenings in my life.

The audacity to be bad mannered!

This period at Great Lakes has taught me a lot of things and continues to- both inside and outside the class rooms - but if I have to cull out a few of those things, it would be my learning from observing the behavior of people. This post is crudely judgmental and hence a deviation from one of my cardinal principles of life - "Never to judge other people's behavior". The fact is being bad mannered, impolite, insensitive, rude and obnoxious is so pervasive here that it makes me wonder whether good manners were meant only for the generation of our parents! 

Take these for example - 

• Some people don't know the meaning of "please" and don't know how to request things. If they need to get their work done, (purely selfish reasons), they won't mind calling you at any time of the day and demand your bike keys as if you are under some obligation to give them the keys. The most audacious part is that they call you only if they want your bike keys; otherwise you are a "nobody" to them. The proportion of these kind of people is simply astounding and mind boggling. It defeats me how easily they can taken others for a ride...!
• Some people behave in 10 different ways with 10 different people. Perhaps, they think, everyone is different and should not be treated with the same level of courtesy and politeness. But what about some basic good manners? To the same question, depending on who poses it, a person is either brash (impolitely expresses his rigid stance on the matter) or sweetly indifferent wriggling his way out of it altogether. Strange! Whatever happened to the manners we were taught when we were young! I suppose, they have gone out of fashion or have become too flexible to lose all meaning.
• Some people consider it their birthright to demand of others, what they want. Even if they do it with their friends, shouldn't they just put themselves for a minute in the other person's shoes and think if the same behavior or demand (in this case) would have been acceptable if they had been the recipient party? Odds are less they would agree but then, do they bother to think that far?
• Some people are just too proud of their charms and if they get to spend time with an equally charming person, they don't mind ignoring a less charming third person. The amount of importance they give to looks is sickening and disgusting.
• Beyond a certain point in any relationship between two people, one gets so used to the other that he/she might be willing to overlook the other person's faults and accept them as they are. But, in the long run, is it good? Shouldn't we instead try to tell them that their behavior is a little arrogant and they should try to change it? Isn't that doing more to strengthen the relationship? Anybody who cannot accept negative feedback patiently from a friend who has done enough to show them that he cares or cannot even give an ear to him, is not worth spending time with!
•  The word "cool" has lost its meaning if it had one in the first place. If you don't conform to your peers, you are simply not "cool" 

Well, I can write volumes on this, will save more for later. One thing to ponder about - basic good manners is on a rapid decline. 

Making a case for fairer and speedier justice

This is an essay I wrote for the course 'Ethics in Governance in Business and Society'. At Great Lakes, it is taught by two eminent crusaders against corruption - Mr. Vittal, Ex CVC and Mr. Seshan, Ex CEC.

Making a case for fairer and speedier justice

Erosion of faith in judiciary

Judiciary, considered one of the three constitutional pillars of Indian democracy, is of late sullied by a stream of unpleasant news reports. Questions have been raised on the integrity of senior judges and their track records. People have long reconciled to the fact that politicians and bureaucrats are corrupt and have always looked up to the judiciary and the Supreme Court in particular for deliverance. But reports about Justice Soumitra Sen, YK Sabharwal, Dinakaran and many others in the media point to a deep seated rot in the judiciary that is slowly eroding this confidence of the Indian public. 

Need for urgent reform

Reams have been written about corruption in the legislature and measures to address it. For argument’s sake, if we do assume that all legislators come clean, where does this leave the corrupt judges? There is an urgent need to clean up the judiciary by means of radical reforms. Piecemeal changes won’t do. Considering the backlog of cases in the Indian courts and the lack of accountability of the judges, to be able to enforce law and order, justice should be seen to be fairly and speedily delivered. 

Abolition of Jury trials in India

In this article, I propose a change which would, in my opinion, make the process of justice more fair, democratic and quick. It is something, that democracies world over have embraced, but India abolished way back in 1960 after the landmark KM Nanavati V State of Maharashtra case – jury trials. The argument put forth during abolition was that the opinion of the jury is often biased by social norms, morality, ethics and values and an objective judgement based on set statutes is rarely possible. It was also believed that juries would be influenced by media and public opinion.

Changing times

Fast forward to today’s age – there is a gaping void in the number of judges we have to address the scores of cases pending in all the courts put together. The rich keep appealing and the poor keep waiting. It is a patently unfair system that visibly rewards the wealthy and gives the poor, only a distant and illusory hope. Very few judges have made their sources of income public even though there is a RTI act and few have surprisingly come out openly and admitted that, corruption at all levels is a fact. In this age of 24*7 live televisions, no judgment is immune to the influences of the electronic media and its commentators. 

We now have a thriving public society and laws that increasingly appear out of tune with the times. Laws on land reforms (SEZ issues), sexual rights (rapes and gay issues), organised labour and environmental concerns need to be constantly revisited in this dynamically changing scenario. 

Proposal

In this context, I propose that we establish a system of trial by juries drawn from eminent members of the civil society. We should have a set number of juries for every district and a judge can appeal only once against the decision of the jury and he can decide only the quantum of punishment.

Argument against institutional rigidity

Amartya Sen in his work, ‘The idea of Justice’, says, “Institutional fundamentalism may not only ride roughshod over the complexity of societies, but quite often the self-satisfaction that goes with the alleged institutional wisdom even prevents critical examination of the actual consequences of having the recommended institutions. Indeed, in the purely institutional view, there is, at least formally, no story of justice beyond establishing the ‘just institutions’” This argument can be interpreted to mean that justice should move beyond a mere interpretation of rigid age old statutes. Indeed, in other parts of the book, with sufficient examples to boot, he mounts an attack on the ‘Rawlsian principles of Justice’. 

Need for citizen participation

In the context of human rights, Amartya Sen writes, “Active public agitation, news commentary and open discussion are among the ways in which global democracy can be pursued, even without waiting for the global state.” In the desire to interpret laws and accommodate appeals, there is simply a search for a “supreme alternative” and no ranking based on a “social point of view” This obviates the checks and balances, a participatory mechanism can bring in - a sad state of affairs for a culture built on the edifice of dialectics. When a jury decides, the sheer number of decision makers is more, humane aspects are given due attention and there is an alignment with the morals and values of the society. 

Addressing corruption, knowledge and trial by media

It is very difficult to sway the decision of a jury by influencing its members. The nexus between criminals and juries is again difficult to establish. So, chances of corruption are lessened by inbuilt mechanisms. Coming to the knowledge of the jury members, perhaps there might be technical limitations but the basic premises of what is fair and what is just remain eminently universal and can be hardly disputed. Regarding trial by media, one can never completely eliminate it in this age of information abundance. Let us learn to live with it instead of decrying the messenger. 

Conclusion

The example of recent adoption of the jury system by South Korea is a case in point. As we have successful democracies embracing this system, it is time we rethink the abolition and give the jury system, a chance. With the system in place, we might end up building a society where corruption free service becomes a fundamental right of its citizenry (Mr. Vittal’s proposal) even without the constitution explicitly saying so.

Political scenario in India

We were asked to write on this for a contest - 300 words was the limit.

From the days of scrupulously clean politicians like Lal Bahadur Shastri, Kamaraj and Moraji Desai to the days of everyday scandals, Indian politics has come to be synonymous with corruption, appeasement and inaction.


Across the length and breadth of the country, there is reluctance on the part of politicians to wield power with responsibility and accountability. There is no harm per se in acquiring power but exercising it with impunity for the wrong ends is a rot of the system. A political career is viewed as a means to acquire the maximum possible wealth in the shortest possible time or as a means to pander to one’s regional and caste groups. As a result, youth community is deeply sceptical about politics.


People have been duped into believing that short term solutions are what they need. Any political leader should be a visionary and sadly, among the current crop of leaders, except for a select few like our Prime Minister, hardly any politician has a vision for the country. Under the guise of action, all that our politicians do is form committees and task forces. Direct action that addresses people’s real needs is virtually absent. Vote banks are created and the flames of radicalism and casteism are fanned. This leads to a vicious cycle culminating in appalling mediocrity. Politicians appease their pet constituencies and the people who vote get lured by short term fixes and perpetuate inefficiency.


What India needs today is a redefinition of the word politics to encompass the larger public good. We also need politicians who can practise honesty and sincerity visibly - since role modelling good behaviour will in itself be an incentive for others - and a mobilisation of the country’s youth behind those who do that. Any radical change has its seeds in a revolution.

PS: This couldn't make it to the next round...perhaps, wasn't upto the mark!

Human beings and the underlying subconscious

This is an essay I wrote in Term 1 as part of the course - "Intelligently interacting with others" - Read it after a long time and felt, this deserved a space here...

The online Longman dictionary definition of the word says “subconscious feelings, desires etc are hidden in your mind and affect your behaviour, but you do not know that you have them”. A course in ‘Intelligently interacting with others’ encompassing Karma Yoga and ‘Group Processes’ right at the beginning of the term, all said and done, helped us understand the significance of the “subconscious” in our daily lives – how every act of ours is influenced by the subconscious without our knowing it and how in turn, every act plays a small part in moulding the “subconscious”.



The first part of the course was a series of challenges to conventional modern assumptions - beliefs that have got so ingrained at the subconscious level- that, to be able to challenge them, the effort taken should be commensurate enough to achieve a transformation at the subconscious level. Far removed from the world of introspection and contemplation, in the midst of constant flux, caught in the centre of a vortex having little control, we have been zombies, moving about in a preoccupied and dazed fashion, rarely pausing and thinking about what we are doing. From such a state to a state where we have been able to assimilate some of the tenets of Karma Yoga, it is a long journey indeed – a journey marked by several reflections, explorations and unanswered questions.


Materialism and individualism, marked by an enhanced perception of the self and in some cases, characterised by a scant disrespect of others, have pervaded the intellectual space of the modern World so much so that any mention of spirituality, collectivism and moderation is brushed aside as a weak attempt to digress and deviate from the immediate concerns. However, any attempt at self-discovery involves an earnest exploration of the subconscious. We started doing that when we examined selfishness, freedom, duty, love and work. At the outset, all these entities seem disparate but nothing can be more further from the truth as we learned.


Work for work’s sake, work without attachment to results and without any selfish motive in mind, do your duty through love and freedom, strive to do good and resist evil – can we in today’s world practise this? I am tempted to say “No”, but then, after serious thought, if happiness and contentment is needed out of life, instead of a perennial struggle marked by frustration, then, the answer is a big and resounding “Yes”. Shorn of all mumbo-jumbo, this list of 5 can be illuminating. Intimidating to merit attention at first, gradually, with practise, they would result in ‘peace of mind’ and harmony because they are in line with a pure conscience – an ideal at best.


The second part of the course on ‘Group Processes’ breached a wall in the “subconscious” – the wall between the individual and the collective space. With the help of scientific evidence, numerous experiments and theories, human behaviour in groups was examined. The joy of learning is enhanced when it can be achieved through association to something we already knew. Existing aside from the hard wired world of other sciences, here, nothing is set in stone. Therein lays the difficulty too. We are used to capturing rigid formulas and theories and storing them away in our minds, but in any dimension involving human behaviour and groups, there is no clearly demarcated line that anybody can tread on!


In unravelling several layers of the “subconscious”, I realised that many of my assumptions in life had no real basis at all. That


Minority groups can influence – When somebody like the lone jury member in ‘Eleven Angry Men’ can turn the tables around and convince the rest of the jury members to pore over the evidence in detail several times in succession, each of us can influence too!


Biology and systems have something to do with group theories – Any field of study or science is not an isolated entity. Rather every field draws from and gives to other fields, something of significance that can be omitted or ignored only at a huge loss


An individual’s self esteem draws a lot of its strength from the group the individual belongs to – If a person can get a higher sense of self-esteem, simply by helping other group members’ cope with their miseries and agonies, then unselfish work can yield high personal rewards.


Human beings at times seek out miserable company and don’t always get drawn to similar people -


Comparison can actually sometimes aid in personal development – When the word comparison has only less-than-good connotations, to realise that it can actually aid in a personal advancement is heartening.


Groups can actually acquire a mind of their own – Similar to human beings, groups can also acquire a mind of their own though this can prove to be both advantageous and disadvantageous depending on context.


Leadership is not all about Power – With leadership tied to politics in our heads, realising that it is actually “helping people see a different set of possibilities” was a revelation.


Cooperation can result in greater returns in the longer term than competition – In a few cases, though competition is cutthroat, both parties can be well off if both of them cooperate.


Our judgement of another person’s character can be as faulty as a conclusion drawn from a simple and unthoughful interpretation owing to our own prejudices and the person’s membership outside our own groups.


Physical spaces and seating can enhance productivity manifold – Just the manner of arrangement of physical spaces can enhance or bring down productivity.


Being part of likeminded groups can be a source of succour to many – Therapy and self group groups can offer hope and mutual learning respectively.


These are some of the many things that my “subconscious” was wired to dismiss without due consideration. But on reflection, this has been my takeaway. My subconscious has definitely got moulded and my actions henceforth will draw from a new set of altered assumptions and beliefs. That is a remarkable feat to accomplish in such a short time and I am proud as a consequence.

The course was something I would never ever forget!

Of contests and more contests

One thing that I have learnt over the past few months is that it is so much fun getting people together and competing against some of the best brains across the country. By participating in anything and everything that is worth its salt, I have come to learn a lot outside the sometimes stifling and constraining boundaries of classroom and hostel life. It expands the horizon of knowledge by letting us explore different domains and avenues. By challenging us, it manages to bring out the best within. Friends when completely trusted, push their potential and come out with amazing outputs and it is a sheer joy to see teamwork in its quintessential avatar for once!

If I don't chronicle a few experiences of this aspect of my college life at Great Lakes, this journal would be incomplete. Some contests, experiences, learning, Here we go -

• XIMB has an event called Skill city, the first round of which was an elimination round that required us to solve aptitude and reasoning based questions including puzzles. With 10 of us in a room, we tried to collaborate and crack the quiz. Even though we did not succeed in the end, it was something that transported us back to our mock CAT days. Solving all those questions made me wish, if only I can go back to writing these tests again! :)
•  MICA has this event called Metrotopia, the Superhero challenge, where we are supposed to come up with a superhero on our own which can solve some pressing global and Indian issues. I almost fell in love with the character, my friend, Shruti, conceptualized - Sugandhi. After numerous rounds of brainstorming and discussions over her costume, superpowers, the issues that she can solve, all in the midst of numerous classes and assignments, we managed to come up with a solid presentation. And when all things seemed to be proceeding smoothly, today morning presented a rude shock to me. In what is one of my worst experiences in life, heavy downpour meant, we could not take Sugandhi to MICA. We were crushed and I am yet to come to terms with this lost opportunity! Who said life is fair? However, the early morning drive had its share of joy. We had breakfast at A2B and it tasted divine...
• For a guerrilla marketing contest organized by JBIMS, I suggested to my friends - Shruti and Somnath - that we participate. In the space of 3 hours, some intense hard work yielded what appeared to us, a "solid" solution to the question posed. We submitted and 2 days later, realized that we were through to the finals...with only few days to the finals and our confusing schedule, we couldn't make the journey.
• Sydenham, Mumbai had a book review contest in which we were supposed to come up with a book review for either of the 10 books that they had listed. I chose 'The new age of innovation' to write on. I would have never read that book otherwise and because of the contest, managed to complete it in a very short span of time. Never mind that the review, to my surprise, apparently didn't meet their standards. 
• There are these numerous online quizzes on dare2compete. Novices to quizzing, we attempt them with all earnestness and end up having a ball in the bargain! :)
•  One contest that we are currently working on is the business plan contest for LIBA, Chennai. Hope we crack this one... I am sure, we can, if we put in our 100%...

Hoping that this wonderful phase of my life presents me with more of these opportunities to have fun and learn at the same time. Sometimes, in life, one has to make efforts to find happiness and when those efforts succeed, nothing like it!

As the electives start and the roads diverge...

The popular axiom goes, “Familiarity breeds contempt”. I am not so sure. If it does breed contempt, then perhaps, five months is a short period for contempt to take roots. As we, the gladiators, (batch of 2010-11) complete the set of core courses and move on to our areas of specialization, the roads diverge. The study groups (groups of 5 that was formed as soon as we joined and to which all of us got so used to!), the Karma Yoga groups (bigger groups formed for visits to nearby villages as part of the Karma Yoga project) and the sections we were in, ever since we joined – all these stand dissolved!

As I wait for the fourth term to start, I feel a little disoriented and a little rudderless. It is strange how many of us, complete strangers to each other, not long back, have quickly made very good friends in the midst of a taxing and rigorous schedule of classes, quizzes and assignments. I guess, it is God’s way of equipping each of us with resilient and strong support systems, no matter where we go. All of us have experienced it since we have considerable work experience before joining. We go to a new place, take up a job, feel lonely, meet new people, like a few of them, establish friendships, grow to rely on them and then, by either a stroke of destiny or will, find ourselves saying goodbye to them.

I am going to miss the idiosyncrasies of all my group members, their eccentricities and all of the joy and happiness they shared with me. I am going to miss all the classes we attended together, the fun we had, the secrets we shared and the notes we took and exchanged though we'd be classmates for a few courses. As part of larger sections, nothing like a diverse group of people with different career aspirations, to get ideas flowing and energy pumped up. Great Lakes, so far, has given me so many experiences that I would cherish. Now, it is beginning to give a glimpse of what I would miss, 7 more months from now. That is how life is. We move on and sometimes, we cross paths too. That is when the roads will meet again!